Sardar Jokes - Sardarji Jokes - Funny Sardar Jokes

Really intelligent!!! SARDAR

2010-06-07T00:10:00.000-07:00

Scene: Trench warfare on Pakistan border, Sikh regiment on one side.

Kartar Singh gets a bright idea, shouts, "Oye Abdul!" A guy gets up
from other trench, "Kya hai be" Kartar Singh shoots!! BANG. The guy is
shot dead!

Kartar Singh shouts again, "Oye Karim" 2 guys stand up, "Kya hai saala"
BANG BANG both khalaas are gone

Kartar Singh shouts again,"Oye Mustafa!" 2 more, BANG-BANG! dono
khalaas!

Pakis get worried, they think: Saala Sardarji log, when did they get so
smart? They decide to try the trick themselves.

"Abe Gurdev Singh" silence

"Oye Gurdev Singh!!" silence

"O bhai, Gurdev Singh!"

This time some one says, "Gurdev Singh ko kaun bula raha hai re?"

Paki gets up, "Main"

BANG! He goes! :wink:

Sardar Jokes

2010-06-06T23:52:00.000-07:00

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

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Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.

One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."

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Son to sardarji: Today I ran behind the bus and saved Rs 3.

Sardarji to son: You fool, if you would have ran behind an auto, you could have saved Rs 30!!!.

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Sardar Ne Biwi Sey Poocha : Aaj To Chicken Bahuth Tasty Hai..kuch Khas Masala Lagaya Kya?

Biwi : Kuch Nahi Thodi Si Jal Gayee Thi... Isliye Barnol Cream Lagaya....

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Sardar was driving with girlfriend to Chandigarh.
He puts his hand on her lap. She smiles and says, "You
can go further dear".
So, Sardar drives to SHIMLA

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Sardar sent msg to his BOSS:

Me sick, no work

Boss msg him back:

When I am sick I kiss my wife try it

2 hours later sardar msg 2 boss:

Me ok, ur wife very sweet

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Interviewer: Congrates, u r selected.

ur 1st month salary is Rs: 60,000.

after 6 Month ur salary will be

increase 1,00,000.

Sardar: Ok sir, I will Join next

month......

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Dog was Chasing a Sardar. Sardar runs,but Laughing.

A Man asked why r u Laughing?

Sardar replied I hav put AIRTEL Sim, but d VODAFONE dog is Following.

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1 day Sardar had a dream as some killed him.

Next day he closed his ICICI BANK Acc.

Why?

Bcz of ICICIs slogan : WE MAKE YOUR DREAMS TRUE.......

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Radio Quiz:

Should women have children after 35?

Sardar Replied: No, 35 children are more than enough!

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Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?

Sardar: An old kings skeleton.

Tourist: Whos that smaller skeleton next to it?

Sardar: That was same kings skeleton when he was a child.

Tourist: !!!!!

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Sardarji saw an air hostess wearing a badge on d left side of her breast bearing d name TINA.

He said, Thats cute.. What have u named d other one..?

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Sardar 1: where did u get dis new cycle?

Sardar 2: yesterday i met a cute young girl with her cycle in a park. She took me to a lonely spot and she remove full of her dresses n asked of, take anything wat u want. I took her cycle and came that spot.

Sardar 1: Ya! U r right. Her dresses wont fit for u!

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A bird was Disturbing a Sardar all the time.

Finally the Sardar caught it and decides to kill it cruelly,

He took it to the top of a building.
.
.
.
.
.
And dropped it!

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why did sardar cut the sides of medicine before eating it ?

think think think

to avoid sde EFFECTS.

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Teacher : Who is Ur Favorite Writer?

Sardar : Ur Daughter.

Every Week She Give Me a Nice Love Letter

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3 sardars were going on a motorcycle....

A policeman shows hand to stop ....

sardar shouted: Hey idiot, already 3 are sitting....where will u sit?.

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sardar – I Saw my wife with a unknown man going to movie.

Man– didnt you follow them?

Sardar – Hey,I have already seen that movie

ANOTHER COUNT - Latest Sardar Jokes

2010-05-20T22:13:00.000-07:00

Our Sardar is walking down the street and sees a man jumping up and down on a
manhole cover yelling "86, 86, 86".

He asks the man, "Excuse me, but why are you jumping up and down on this manhole cover and yelling '86, 86, 86'?"

The man says, "Well, I can't tell you that, but if you really want to know, I can let you go under there and find out.

He thinks for a moment, then his curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "Okay." The man lifts the manhole cover, He steps into the manhole,
and the man puts the manhole cover back and starts jumping up and down on it yelling "87, 87, 87"...

Heaven - New Sardar Jokes

2010-05-20T22:11:00.000-07:00

A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told
him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order
to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".

2. How many seconds are there in a year?

The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.

2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the
answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12 seconds in
a year?"

The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word.

To Loose Weight - Sardar Jokes

2010-05-20T22:10:00.000-07:00

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would
loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had
lost the weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm
2400 kms from home."

New Sardar Jokes

2010-05-20T22:06:00.000-07:00

Q: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Sardar: "No, who wrote it?"

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Sardar ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

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Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

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How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

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What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

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How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

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What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

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Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

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Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

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How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.

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What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.

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What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
The back of his head.

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What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

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What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).

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What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.

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Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

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Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

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How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

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Why can't Sardar dial 911?
They can not find the eleven on the phone

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How do you get Sardar on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.

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"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?

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What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.

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Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

4 Sardaro ki daastan

2010-05-17T22:09:00.000-07:00

4 sardaro ne mil ke petrol pump khola. 1 bhi customer nahi aaya ..
Kyun?
.
.
.
.
petrol pump was on 1st floor..

Chalo ek aur
Fir charo ne usi floor pe restuarent khola. 1 bhi customer nahi..Kyu?
.
.
.
.
.
.
petrol pump ka board nahi hataya..
Chalo ek aur
Fir charo ne 1 taxi li. 1 bhi sawari nahi.Kyu..?
.
.
.
.
.
.
2 sardar aage and 2 piche baith ke sawari dhund rahe the..
ek aur … ek aur
Taxi kharab ho gayi. Charo ne khub dhakka lagaya.but taxi wahi ki wahi.Kyu..?
.
.
.
.
.
.
2 aage se and 2 piche se dhakka de rahe the..
… ek aur
Fir charo ne 1 bachhe kokidnap kiya.Bachhe ko kaha ghar ja apne baap se 5 lac rs le ke aa.warna tujhe maar denge. Bachha ghar gaya aur uske papa ne paise de bhi diye.Kyu..?
.
.
.
.
.
.
bachhe ka baap bhi sardar tha..

New Sardar Jokes

2010-04-29T21:31:00.000-07:00

Ek bus ka accident ho gaya
A man crying - hey bhagwan mere hath tut gaya,
Sardar Control yourself, us aadmi ko dekho wo mar gaya hai fir bhi chupchap pada hai

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SANTA=Daarling aaj
barsat ka din hai,
koi aisi romantic baat
kaho
k mere pair zameen pe
na rahe

Wife: Daarling
"FAANSI" laga lo..........

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Ek darya k kinare 2 sardar chamchay se darya main dahi dal rahay thay…
Pathan ne dekha to pocha: Khoocha yeh kiya kerhy ho???
Sardar : Hum lassi bana rahay hain…
Pathan: hahaha..O pagal ka bacha log islye tum per latifa banaty hain..
Itni lassi tumhara baap piye ga…

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NOT BACHELOR'S DEGREE

After passing the F.Sc. examination from the Punjab University in the early forties, my friend, Nirmal Singh, settled down in Delhi. Twentl years later, when I visited his house, I was astonished to find the following particulars displayed on his nameplate.

Nirmal Singh, FSC (F.Sc.)
Balwant Kumar MSC (M.Sc.)

I asked Nirmal Singh if he did not feel embarrassed by proclaiming the comparatively higher qualification of his wife.

'Not at all,' replied my friend. 'Why should I fight shy of admitting what is factually correct? I am father of seven childern (FSC) and my wife is mother of seven children (MSC).'

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Sardar talking on cell.
2nd Sardar : Kis se baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar : Biwi se…

2nd Sardar : Itne… Pyaar se?
1st Sardar : Tumhari hai…

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Phone ki ganti baji.
Santa : Phone mere liye ho toh kehna mein ghar pe nahi hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo ghar pe hain.

Santa : Maine mana kiya tha ke…
Jasmeet : Phone mere liye tha!

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Santa and banta jungle mein, saamne aayaa sher…

Banta ne sher ki aakhon main matthi phenki, aur bhaagne lagaa aur santa ko bhi bhaagne ko kahaa.

Santa : Main kyun bhaagu, matthi to tune phenki hai.

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Santa: Bhagwan Chandigarh nu America di capital bana de. Plz plz plz…

Banta: Par kyun???

Santa: Kyunki main paper vich ye hi likh aaya hun…..

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Latest Jokes on Sardar

2010-04-28T21:27:00.000-07:00

Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank.
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.
Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.

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Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko A,B,C Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9 tak aty hia..
Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k pathy 9 A,b,c main nahe aata. yeh to Alif,, Be,,Main ata hai:

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Sardar Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala

Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi

Kyun...

Kyun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The

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Santa-Oye!what R U doing?

Banta-Recording this babys voice.

Santa-Why?

Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this

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Santa ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi

To usne apne baap ki photo kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya

Aur Niche Likha

"COMING SOON”

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SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?

FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.

SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..

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Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying

Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver

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Waiter gives bill to Sardar

Sardar: "Take my card."

Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card."

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SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.
Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,

Dost: Garam pani Q?

Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.

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A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then a Little Sardarji spoke up: "We are all human beans."

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Sardar k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha:

Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Sardar ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai?

Sardarni: Sartaj, sirf yehi aapka hai.

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Sardar: Mery dada ny 1857 ke jang main dushman ki tangain kaat di thin.

Dost: Gardanien q nai katin?

Sardar: Wo pehly he kati hui thin...

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Sardar: Muje E-Mail bnana hy. Sardar, Sardarg, Sardar123, Sardarabc Koi bhi nhe mil rha.

Major Rohail: Tum "Akalmand_Sardar" try kro 100% mil jye ga.

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Computer Lesson:

Major Rohail: Plz turn ON your computer

Sardar: OK kar liya.

Major Rohail: Now Plz click on MY Computer.

Sardar: OK! Kaha hai "AAP" ka computer?

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Sardar to wife: rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 chudeil kabhi mere age kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,
Wife: Kaun si movie thi?
Sardar: Apni shadi ki

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Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaye

Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:- to behan kuch or paka lo:

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Judge: why did u shoot ur wife, instead of shooting her lover?
Sardar: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one
man every week.

Java Interview Attended by Santa Singh - Sardar Jokes

2010-04-28T05:15:00.000-07:00

Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different ... Nothing more

Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee

Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.

Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.

Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can't communicate.

Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.

Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.

Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.

Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.

Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?

Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.

Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.

Q. How will you call an Applet from a Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.

Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus dep to.

Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.

Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.

Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.

Q. What is the exact diffe rence between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast.